Four months ago, the average date night planned by yours truly was a last-minute scramble and oftentimes peaked by watching an episode of The Office together (nothing against The Office). Date nights seemed to feel more like a night off and not an intentional, oneness building time together. Each date night lacked excitement, interest, fun, and creativity. Britt would never have described me as a lazy husband but the ball was for sure dropped by me in this sweet area to cultivate our marriage. Meanwhile, four months ago, Britt was killing it with creative and eventful date nights.
A few smart guys who have gone before me seem to consistently say, “If you win everywhere else in life, but you lose at home, you’ve lost.” I don’t want to lose at home. I can only image the wedge of bitterness that could eventually come between Britt and I if I continued to put our date nights on the back-burner.
For men, the secret and sought after trait that seems to be most evasive in marriage is initiative. John Wooden said it well, “Failure to act – lack of initiative – is the greatest failure of all.” This trait seems to be the hardest to hone but when it’s present it’s seems be the best sparks in marriage. Initiative communicates so many qualities. It’s shows the fruit of care and concern, demonstrates compassion, and proves that one is burdened for another. I guess it proves that the fuel of love and grace is moving the marriage along. What has brought about added sweetness to our marriage in the last few months? What has unearthed deep love and care for one another? Initiative seems to be the great cultivator. It has a strong and robust taste, like black coffee. Britt and I are both enjoying the flavor of initiative as it’s been doing the work of cultivating more depth in our marriage and family.